Catching Up... (first candidating)

Things looked to be moving in a very positive direction. The Pastors were in full favor of bringing Becky and I on, we went before the deacons for an interview and they unanimously were also behind us. We were so excited. At this point the vote before the church seemed like almost a formality, because we had so many people saying positive and exciting things to us. In my mind, I tried to remain open to the possibility that it is NOT a done-deal yet, and things could still not work out with the church. The weekend came for me to preach in my church and go before the church for questioning, and even then - nothing too negative came forward. Yeah, I sure was scared to preach in church, but I had become more and more comfortable with being up front speaking because of the much experience I had gained with the teens and speaking to them.

My family was all able to be there for the candidating weekend, and we had a nice time with them, and everything seemed to go very well. I put in a provisional 2-week notice to the bank, because the pastor wanted me to start ASAP after the vote was official.

Well, April 30th came. It was a Bible study night (Becky and I had been conducting after church, small group Bible studies for 10th - 12th grade girls and guys separately). It was a business meeting night -- the church would vote after the service -- a vote that was destined to change my life (only I had no clue how much).

The service let out, Becky and I went to our respective locations for Bible study (mine being at our house) and I got things (mainly food) ready for the guys to come after the vote.

Well, Justin was the first guy to come to the house. I knew from his face that something had gone on, although I couldn't be convinced as to what it was. He asked if I wanted to know the result, and I told him no, not yet. Well the guys continued coming and began helping themselves to the food in the kitchen and about this time the Pastor arrives.

Well, I will try to cut the emotion (even though it was an extremely difficult evening) but there was not enough of a majority to call us to the position of youth pastor. We were a small handful of votes shy of being called. The Pastor was shocked, as was the church as a whole, and as were we. I had tried to prepare for this, so I went into recovery mode, and thankfully God spared me from too much emotion and frustration in the moment. I was able to thank the Pastor for taking the time to come down and tell me, and then went inside to conduct the Bible study.

Well, it "just so happened" that God was to have me talk about being crucified to Christ -- and that the things that happen in this life, happen for a reason and don't take God by surprise. It doesn't guarantee that it is always going to be easy or always going to be what we want. Our lives are for His glory, and we need to die to self, and die to what we want and say "Not my will, but Yours be done God." It was an emotional night with the guys as I shared this with them - but I praise God that I was able to still teach that in the midst of going through a situation just like the one I was sharing. It was very real to me in that moment.

I had tons of questions, and frustrations, and disbeliefs. In many respects I blamed myself for some things maybe I should have done differently. Other things came up which I won't dwell on now because they are in the past, but I was to find out the week after that rumors had gone around about me, lies had been told, and this was partly why the vote went as it did.

It proved to be the hardest year of my life--by far the most difficult trial I had ever gone through, but yet God blessed and used this time to draw us closer to Him.

I began really pursuing other options again, while at the same time I kinda took over the youth group at my church, because our previous youth pastor was now full-swing into his senior pastor responsibilities.